The crying of lot 49 (part II)

As I’m finishing the book and I’m about to put it down I am left with a thousand questions, in the middle of my confusion, once again, I go to my last resource “sparknotes.com” I read the chapter summaries, but when I’m about to read chapter 6’s summary I decide to read it from the book one more time. I am more confused than ever, well at this point I’m not sure if I’m confused or I can’t process the end…

All this reading for such an end… we are left with such a big question??? Who was the crier??? Oedipa went through this entire journey, she was about to lose it, and when she finally thought she found a final answer, when she was about to reach the light at the end of the tunnel, she’s wrapped in another mystery…who is the damn crier?? He or she has all the answers she’s been looking for.

I think in the end all the people she trusted and tried to help her knew who the crier was, they knew all the answers; however this was something she had to go through and solve by herself. They played with her and I think it was all Pierce’s plan. I don’t even think he’s dead. I admire her for not losing it; she kept herself together even though she stumbled towards the end. She found out about the auction and goes…and that’s where the story ends with a thousand questions in the reader’s mind.

The crying...

Pynchon’s “The crying of lot 49” is amazing!! I don’t regret voting for this novel, I love, love the way Pynchon writes. The way he describes things and the plot is super interesting, I can’t wait to finish the book.  The most thrilling part is the plot!! Oedipa is one lucky bi***!! She inherited all of Pierce’s estate. I would love to have an ex-boyfriend like that J soon we find out that his estate is very complex and the journey she’s about to adventure is a lot more interesting than we think.

The symbols Pynchon’s uses seem so appealing, the letters, the lovers, the lyrics, the whole Rapunzel metaphor, the horn trumpet like symbol. It looks like everything is related but at the same time it’s not or at least not yet. Oedipa doesn’t give a crap of what she has to do to solve the mystery of Pierce’s will and his affairs, even if she has to act like a slut, and she really doesn’t have to but at least she enjoys it haha. Mucho seems like a very  boring husband, but he’s very supportive (kudos for that!) she has no remorse for having sex with Metzger.

As I kept reading, the story became more difficult to understand. I have to admit I read each page at least twice and I used sparknotes (busted!) so I could at least make it through each chapter. I’m very thrilled to see what’s coming next and see how the story ends.

Group discussion...

I have to admit I didn’t do much research for this reading, other than the usual. A small browsing session on Wikipedia and I also read the story twice. In fact I even forgot to answer some of the questions from the handout. I only focused on the ones I found more interesting and just my luck I didn’t answer any of them during the group discussion.

I learned a lot from my classmates’ points of view. It’s nice to give feedback, discuss and exchange ideas, maybe they caught something I didn’t or vice versa. However I like it more when the teacher leads the class. I felt like the mediator didn’t know much of what we were talking about because he didn’t read the story. Some people can be really shy or they can get scared when they’re put on the spotlight. I felt like it should have been a more free or voluntarily discussion. The pressure of having to answer certain questions made me feel very nervous I almost froze when it was my turn.

I really think we learn a lot more as a class and not as separate teams. I felt like some of my teammates had a lot to say but we had to follow the handout. When the mediator started asking the questions from the handout, I was like “Crap! I didn’t write any answers down” I looked for the answers as I was reading along but I didn’t write anything down, so I had a hard time formulating proper answers and then when I wanted to say something it was time to move to the next question. I kept looking at the clock waiting for the Inquisition to be over, that’s how I actually felt. I’m really looking forward to going back to our “normal” class this Friday.    =)

Notes from a Native Son...

I must have to say that I love this reading so much! None of the stories I’ve read so far during the semester have made such an impact on me. “Notes of a Native Son” from James Baldwin is an exquisite piece of art, such a great and detailed essay. I loved it from the first to the last word. The way he relates his relationship with his father, the way death and life came together and his internal fight is exquisite.

I like the way he says “In his outrageously demanding and protective way he loved his children…” This line struck me so much; it reminded me so much of my father. He, just like Baldwin’s dad, was a man of few words. When you grow up with such a father figure you tend to blame his authoritarian attitude to the life experiences he lived before he became a father. You look for a way to justify their hate and resentment.

Having to deal with his father sickness and death without feeling sad about it must have been very difficult to share, but in the end he wished he had one more minute with his dad. His dad died without creating a loving bond with him, that’s the reason why he didn’t feel sad about his death. It must have been so hard to realize he could have had a better relationship with him if his father had different ideals.  “All of my father’s texts and songs, which I had decided were meaningless, were arranged before me at his deathlike empty bottles, waiting to hold the meaning which life would give them to me”  

Like he said, “whiteness and blackness did not matter” it only matter that his dad was dead and with him his hate and resentment died too, the birth of little brother was a new beginning , a new chance to start from zero.

The Invisible Man

I really, really liked this story. The first paragraph really struck me. Every single word in the paragraph has a deep meaning; the author is narrating his struggle of being a black male. Since he was born he was an invisible man, yet he looked for answers and some kind of identity all his life. He says “I was naive, I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer…”

I’m assuming he knew these answers because of what he experienced growing up so he comes to the conclusion that he’s nothing but an “Invisible man” A man who was told he was free just like his ancestors did but he was oppressed and separated just like the rest of his fellow African Americans.  A follower of Mr Booker T. Washington, he wanted to pursue an academic career.

The part where he delivers his speech at the “smoker” was so sad, but I believe the author really portrayed the struggle of every single African American at the time. They were humiliated and treated like animals, no freedom, no rights. They were beaten and abused physically and emotionally. However they stood up and just like the Phoenix they rose from the ashes and prove that they can be more than just slaves. This young man, stood up, his weak and bloody body was not an excuse to deliver his speech, and he knew it was the right thing to do. His grandfather’s words were ringing in his head just like the bell announced the end of the fight. In the end he got a scholarship, it was his ticket to a better life. To me he was not invisible anymore…  

Say what...?

So far this has been one of the most difficult poems I have ever read in my entire life, it is super, extremely complicated!!

It is obvious that death and life after death as well as resurrection (?) play a big role in the poem, I can tell by the following lines:
“April is the cruelest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire…”

“That corpse you planted last year in your garden, has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?”

It reminded me when we’re burying my dad, I remember the grass was so green and flowers were in full bloom. I thought here I am burying my dad, his dead body in a land full of life. It was a mix of feelings.

One of the things I’ve always feared is water; it’s actually one of my biggest phobias. The sea, a lake, anything related with water freaks me out.  T.S. Elliot mentions water a lot throughout the poem and death by water.

One of the things we discussed in my group was that Nick was a soldier, something that I didn’t see when I first read the story. I got the feeling that he had gone fishing because he wanted to get away from something or someone. We came to the conclusion that he wanted to get away from himself and he also wanted to let go of something. He suffered from PTSD he saw war everywhere during his fishing trip.

On the other hand, Wright’s “Almos’ a man” was a lot easier to understand and analyze, something that we came to the conclusion that he left on the train because he already made a foul of himself there, he needed to get away in order to fit in. He needed to leave to prove the town’s people that he really was a man.

All stories are great, all three of them.

"Two-Hearted River" & "Almos' a man"

Hemingway’s “Two-Hearted River” and Wright’s “Almos’ a man” were very detailed stories, while I was reading them I felt I was there. Hemingway’s way to describe what can be a simple fishing trip was phenomenal! I loved it, he made me feel every detail in the story and I really felt I was next to Nick living and seeing what his eyes were witnessing. It’s almost as if Hemingway is recommending the reader to get in touch with nature, to get away and connect with earth and all the beautiful scenarios and experiences it has to offer. On page 981 he says: “…the day was hot but Nick felt happy. He felt he had left everything behind, the need for thinking, the need to write, other needs. It was all back of him.” Nick needed to reconnect with him and what better way to do it then going fishing. His amazement when he catches a big trout was so finely written by Hemingway.

Dave Sanders is quite a unique character, he’s so innocent but at the same time he feels like he needs to prove the world what kind of a man he is! A man brave enough to shoot a gun! While I was reading the story it reminded me of the first time I shot a gun, the combination of fear, excitement and adrenaline are something out of this world. This feeling is released when you pull the trigger and BOOM! It’s incredible how a gun can give you such sense of power and security. I felt sorry for the kid, if I was his mom I wouldn’t have trusted in his word. If his dad wanted a gun he would have bought one long time ago, that was such a lame excuse. The accident with Jenny left Dave as a fool in front of the people and I love how Wright ends the story with the lines: “Ahead the long rails were glinting in moonlight, the stretching away, away to somewhere, somewhere where he could be a man…” I took it as he could no longer prove the people of his town that he was “man” because he made a fool of himself with the mule incident.

"Black Woman" by Georgia Douglas Johnson

It was a pretty sad poem, when I first read it I wanted to cry as I was answering the questions more images and feelings came to my mind. How could this woman end her child's life? How could she feel with the remorse? I admire her determination to end the baby's life. It helped me to understand that she felt she was doing the right thing, because she believed this world was cruel and sinful, that the baby was coming to suffer and not be happy. I really like the "How to close read a poem" structure, I will definitely save it and use it in the future, it helped me a lot. I put myself in the speaker's place and felt their words.

Midterm Essay...

For my midterm Essay I would like to compare Washington and DuBois, the negro culture before and after them. I really think they built a platform for the whole civil rights movement. I identify a lot with the "Writing "American" lives" section in the book. I would love to write a little bit about my experience as an immigrant and compare the different points of view of these great writers. For an immigrant, you don't only fight for the "American dream" everyday, you also fight for equality and identity, it's a constant fight.

I haven't decided if I want to focus only on Washington and DuBois writing or if I also want to include all the authors in the section.

"The land of the free..."

As a member of a minority in the so called "Land of the free..." I have to agree with Mr. Du Bois. I honestly believe there's no better way to obtain first class citizenship than to get yourself educated, period. We cannot get ourselves comfortable being servants and/or half men, like Du Bois said, we have to strive for more, fight to have a better life than the one our parents and ancestors had. 

"How does it feel to be a problem? I answer seldom a word." (454) Some of us don't know other feeling. You get used to be pointed at and get all kinds of looks. Why? Because you're different! Your skin color is different! ...and so is your history.

You were born here, on this land, but freedom is not a given right is something you have to fight for. 

    Washington wished for all his fellow men to be Negroes and Americans at the same time, but how can they be? If they didn't have their right to vote and access to higher education. "No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem" (443) I'm not saying that working in a field of cotton is not a worthy job, but why would someone want to work in deplorable conditions for the rest of one's life? Why would you surrender and kiss your boss's ass all the time? Strive for more, always do! Be the best you can be...

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" (470) Du Bois quoted on "The Souls of Black Folk" I can only imagine what went through his mind when he read this Constitutional passage, I wonder if it was the same thing that went through mine...BULLSHIT! How can you and your founder fathers tell me I have the right to be free if you're selling me like cattle, you work my ass from sunrise to sunset. How can you tell me I have the right to pursue my happiness if you don't give me access to higher education or to vote? 

That's why I believe Du Bois was a militant, he asked his race to fight for a better life, for something that you should have been given to them but by a conflict of interests they didn't have. Washington was a conservative, a conformist. I wonder if there's ever going to be a day where we can all be free at last...free of prejudice and hate.  

Response to Nathanael's Blog

http://nathanaelgracelovesliterature.blogspot.com/

As I was reading Nathanael's Blog I found this question very interesting: Is the story saying that Infidelity is not bad in itself if it is handled in a proper fashion? Infidelity is bad, period. No matter how you handle the situation, at some point in life the truth always comes out, no matter how hard you try to hide it.

That a woman/man just having a passionate encounter is just that?I really think Calixta and Alcee were victims of the circumstances. I'm not justifying what they did, I don't agree with it either. They had a past, the situation helped a lot. The storm, they were alone in a big house it was the perfect scenario to unveil an old passion. Both of them could have made the choice to walk away from this situation, but none of them did.

I would have to agree with Nathanael's there was a personal storm with each one of the characters, each of them dealt with their own fears and desires and in the end they managed to be happy and go on with their lives. Calixta and Alcee managed to keep their secret, Bobinot and Bibi didn't get in trouble and enjoyed a nice family dinner. Alcee wrote a nice love letter to his wife. It makes me wonder if this was their last and only encounter?

So the storm passed...

I read the story twice, I never thought it was going to be about an infidelity and I must say it surprised me a lot. Who hasn't been victim of an infidelity or better yet who hasn't seen an old flame and felt a burning sensation on their chest? To me it feels as if my heart goes directly to my throat, I loose my balance and millions of erotic thoughts cross my mind. I revive every caress and feeling, especially if the old flame was a prohibited relationship. 
I've also been a victim of betrayal, I guess what goes around comes back around or they say... all I know is that it submerged me in the darkest of darkness. I can't imagine what Bobinot would have felt if he found out Calixta slept with Alcée. I don't blame Calixta, maybe she wasn't completely happy with Bobinot or maybe she was just a victim of the circumstances, but again if she respected the compromise and respect a marriage involves she wouldn't have done it. Maybe she wasn't sexually satisfied, I've heard many wives complain about how passion and sexual desire decreases in marriage as time passes by. 
It is hard to block your mind and not think about anything else and just enjoy the moment you're living. How can they have the guts to just pretend nothing happened and go on with life? It is hard to be a hypocrite and live with the remorse, but it's not impossible as long as the secret stays between two. 

...and so the storm can pass and every one can be happy! :)